|Drawn Together Character|
|Age||50's or 60's|
|Voiced by||James Arnold Taylor|
The Storytelling Guy is an old man with white hair and white skin. He wears a monocle with a long, golden chain and he always has a brown pipe in his mouth. He wears a blue shirt with a light blue undershirt and blue pants and black shoes.
- "And that is how Princess Clara learned to hate the coloreds."
- "And that is how Foxxy Love became a whoooooore."
- "And that's how Ling-Ling began speaking Oriental." (In Japorean)
- "And that is how Toot Braunstein became a one-dimensional fat joke."
- "No, yours is."
- "And that is how Xandir became a hoooooomooooo."
- "And that's how Spanky Ham came to love the wonderful world of excrement, almost as much as I do ... Ready."
- "And that is how Walter Sagget became Wooldoor Sockbat."
- "And that's how Foxxy Love learned that 'Them ain't yo Funions, thems Foxxy's Funions'."
- "And that is how Captain Hero learned that dead bodies are game for anything and I do mean anything. Goodnight and fuck yooooooou ... Ready."