|Little Orphan Hero|
|Drawn Together Episode|
|Season/Episode||Season 2 Episode 3|
|Original Airdate||November 2, 2005|
|Guest Voices||John Ondrasik as Hero's father|
|Written By||Erik Sommers|
|Directed By||Ray Claffey|
|Previous Episode||Foxxy vs. the Board of Education|
|Next Episode||Captain Hero's Marriage Pact|
"Little Orphan Hero" is the tenth episode of Drawn Together.
Captain Hero has a nervous breakdown resulting from long-standing issues regarding the death of his parents, who perished when his home world of Zebulon crashed into a sun. With the help of Wooldoor and a whale fetus, he accepts their deaths and resolves to move on with his life, until the other housemates clue him in to the fact that his home planet of Zebulon was never destroyed and that his parents are probably still alive. Captain Hero ventures into the woods, where he first rapes a sex robot, and then attempts to contact his homeworld.
Shortly thereafter, a spaceship lands, and his parents step out to greet him. With his family reunited, Captain Hero lives a second childhood, until his mother finally breaks down and tells him the truth: she actually had him aborted when doctors revealed that her child was going to be the lamest superhero ever. Heartbroken, Captain Hero tries to prove to his parents that he's a great hero by having Xandir dress up as a criminal and attack his mother, but the plan backfires when Captain Hero forgets that the villain Two Hands is actually Xandir in disguise and tears out Xandir's intestines. Enraged that his parents still think he's not a good superhero, Captain Hero flies to Zebulon and throws the planet into the sun, murdering everyone on the planet. His parents, now homeless, have no choice but to rely on him for his love and support- not knowing, of course, that he is the one responsible for their plight.
Meanwhile, Foxxy and the other housemates form a suicide hotline, but everyone shirks it in favor of worshipping a dead frog as a god (much to the chagrin of Foxxy, who remains true to Salamander Jesus). When Foxxy gets a call from a depressed quadruple amputee plotting to end his own life, she and the other housemates spring into action. They eventually find the man, Jeff, who begs them to pull the plug on the equipment that's keeping him alive. They try to cure him of his suicidal thoughts, but he manages to convince them that his life is truly an endless misery with nothing to live for.
Just as the housemates are about to comply with his request and pull the plug, he reveals that he's actually part of an undercover task force of quadriplegics assigned to take down phony suicide hotlines run by reality show guests who then try to ignore their responsibilities and assist their callers in euthanasia. Disgusted with the fact that this sounds like a TV show plot written by a mentally retarded child, everyone goes home.
Musical numbers: "I Wanted You to Know" by Brooke Ramel, played on the DVD version as a theme to Captain Hero's second childhood and gang rape. (This song also plays over the end credits of the DVD version of the first season finale.) Also, Hero sings a few bars of "Superman (It's Not Easy)" by Five for Fighting, and the actual song is used later in the episode. In case clearance wasn't gained for the Five For Fighting song, a song called "Being A Hero" was written; it appears on the show's soundtrack album. Neither song appears on the DVD version.
Lyrics to "Being a Hero"Edit
Being a hero, it's hard
Being a hero, it's hard all the time
Super-human powers, you'd think it's easy
But being pretty much invincible, is not what it seems to be
Being a hero, it's hard
'Cause there's an unbelievably endless stream of poontang
It's like you're a tapioca factory running 24 hours a day
And even if you stop for a second to foil some kind of robbery or something
You find yourself in public wearing tights with a woodie that won't go away
Being a hero, it's hard
And also it can be difficult dealing with the stress of knowing
- That there are hundreds of hardened criminals trying to kill you at any given moment
With death beams and horridly sadistic torture devices
- That only the sickest mind can imagine
And your fucked up dysfunctional family doesn't understand
- And no matter how many times you save the world it can never be enough for daddy
And for every good deed you do there's like a thousand evil deeds that go unchecked
- And the human race is doomed to a self made armageddon
'Cause of all the pussy
"God damned white producers with their god damned white flashes. They can edit us to make us say whatever they want. My taint is made out of bacon. STOP IT! Anyway, where was I? oh yeah. My taint, 100% pure bacon."
"And I don't want to be responsible for no stupid-ass suicide hotline."
"Oh, come on Foxxy, this time it'll be different. We'll stick with it!"
(Everyone starts talking, trying to convince her, when someone suddenly says something horrible)
"I lit a homeless girl on fire!"
"What the? That's horrible! Who said that?"
(Everyone mutters and talks among themselves, trying to figure out who said that and the voice talks again)
"Fire's happy now."
(Everyone freezes in shock and looks around the room at other people in confusion)
"I'm cured! Oh, I'm cured! My therapist made me realize that it's not my fault my parents are dead. I couldn't have stopped Zebulon from crashing into the sun."
"You mean the planet Zebulon? Zebulon didn't crash into no sun, Captain Tardo."
"What'choo talkin' 'bout Foxxy?"
"Zebulon is a triving planet with a booming economy."
"Huh, yeah right. (snort) As if."
"We order Zebulonese take out food all the time. You love the deep fried Zebulonads."
"I never put the two together."
"Don't you remember? We went to Zebulon for spring break."
"Dude, I was so wasted the whole time!"
"Plus, we're stealing out cable from Zebulon."
(Screen cuts to a giant cable protruding from the Drawn Together house and into the sky)
"Okay! Okay! I get it!"
"How else could we watch Everybody Loves Zorgleblat? Man, I hate that Patricia Hetenglab, what a clexblunt."
"Well then, if Zebulon didn't blow up, that would mean ... My parents are still alive ... oh my god. Oh my god! OH MY GOD!!!"
"I'm a Quadruple amputee. My life is a living Hell."
"Shit, you think you got it bad? You should try living with some room mates. Now if I write my name on the back of Funions, them ain't you Funions, those Foxxy's Funions!"
- - Jeffery and Foxxy Love
"Those god damned cunt shit dumb ass piss fuck meatball dick cock motherfuckers!"
- - Foxxy Love
"Oh, come on Captain Hero. You're not the lamest superhero ever. Come out of the dumpster."
"No. This is where my mommy wanted me to be anyways."
- - Xandir and Captain Hero
(The gang tries to pull the plug on Jeffery's life support as his last dying wish)
(Jeffery reveals himself to be an undercover cop)
"Jeff! What you doing?"
"My name isn't Jeff. My real name is Jeffery and I'm part of an undercover sting unit called the Special Tactical Operations Unit to catch People, who set up Suicide Hotlines because of a Reality Show challenge, and then didn't follow through on them, so they caused the People who Needed them to Take their own Lives, and then they Changed their Minds When They Realized Not All People should be Forced to Live, so they try to Assist Someone in Euthanasia or as we call it for short, the STOUTCPWSUSHBOARSCATDFTOTSTCTPWNTTTTMWTRNAPSBFTLSTTTASIE Team."
- - Jeffery and Foxxy Love
"I can't go back to jail! I won't go back! NOOOOOO!"
(Jumps through the window)
"This so stupid, it's like a retarded third grader wrote this."
- - Spanky Ham
Notes and inside referencesEdit
- Even though the second season was only three shows old, after this episode, Comedy Central picked up Drawn Together for a third season. Each of the second season's first three episodes was the highest rated cable show in its timeslot in the key 18-49 demographic as well as in all key male demographic segments, and combined with its lead-in South Park, gave the network a dominant Wednesday night lineup. 
- In the scene where everyone is pitching ideas for a business, Spanky's head is bigger than normal.
- When the cast (minus hero) are trying to get foxy to join in the plan you can hear a voice say "I lit a homeless girl on fire" and when trying to figure out who said it you can hear said voice again say "Fire's happy now". Later in the episode, it was revealed that Xandir was the one who said this when he attempted to kill Captain Hero's Mom and said "If I can light a homeless girl on fire, I can definitely do this."
- The shot of Captain Hero crying naked in the shower comes from the episode "Requiem for a Reality Show", though the cookies he had with him in that episode do not appear in this version.
- The shot of Captain Hero holding an ice-cream cone and a balloon at the mall employs reversed physical comedy: when he is startled by a mother and son brushing against him, he drops the balloon and the ice-cream. However, in a reversal of physics, his balloon lands and splats on the ground, whilst his ice-cream cone floats away, causing to start crying again. In reality, the balloon would have floated away and the ice-cream cone would have splatted on the ground.
- Captain Hero (as in previous episodes) and his father are depicted with enormous visible bulges near their genitals, possibly to hint at their extreme virility, or to parody the sexual overtones of traditional superhero attire. In an additional parody of this, Captain Hero's mother is depicted with a cameltoe as well as exposed and well-defined breast cleavage. Like Captain Hero himself, both of his parents wear stylized Mars symbols on their clothing, suggesting it is perhaps an alien version of a family crest.
- The housemates are assigned to start a business, and come up with the suicide hotline. Suicide hotlines, however, are nonprofit endeavors staffed by volunteers, and would not be considered businesses (which could very well be the joke).
- When Captain Hero comes home from being gang-raped at the keg party, the newspaper his father is reading has the headline "Best Kegger Ever".
- This episode contains the first real hints of Captain Hero being Jewish. Captain Hero addresses his mom as imma, which is mother in Hebrew. The name of his home planet, Zebulon, is a reference to the tribe of Zebulun, one of the Ten Lost Tribes of Israel. Zevulun is also a Jewish surname, though more often used as a given name. This may also parody the Hebrew origins of words and names used in the original Superman comics.
- The crime count for this episode is high (With most crimes being committed by Hero): Captain Hero rapes his sex robot, presumably rapes Xandir and his own parents, and is himself gang raped. Xandir has his intestines torn out, Toot and Clara commit suicide, the housemates try to kill Jeff, and Captain Hero murders billions of Zebulonians by flinging his home planet of Zebulon into the sun, practically wiping out his own species, which counts as xenocide, not to mention the housemates' stealing cable TV (which has just been rendered useless from Zebulon's destruction). Xandir breaks into the house and threatens to kill Captain Hero's mother and he also mentions that he lit a homeless girl on fire. It is implied that Ling-Ling killed a large amount of people while working on his job at the suicide hotline, which counts as genocide. Captain Hero possibly commits another crime (killing a protected species) when he eats the unborn whale fetus, though the legal aspects of this particular act are less certain.
- When he busts the housemates, Jeffrey reveals that he is a member of an organization called "Special Tactical Operations Unit To Catch People Who Set Up Suicide Hotlines Because Of A Reality Show Challenge And Then Didn't Follow Through On Them So They Cause The People Who Needed Them To Take Their Own Lives And Then They Change Their Minds When They Realize Not All People Should Be Forced to Live So They Try To Assist Someone In Euthanasia". However, neither the initials on the T-shirt on the wall (which are given as "STOUTCPWSUSHBOARSCATDFTOTSTCTPWNTTTTMW-RTN-APSBFTLSTTTASIE") nor the acronym as Jeffrey states it ("STOUTCPWSUSHBOARSCATDFTOTSTCTPWNTTTTMWTRNAPSBFTLSTTTASIE") correctly match the name of the organization.
- The correct initials are: STOUTCPWSUSHBOARSCATDFTOTSTCTPWNTTTT-OLATTCT-MWTRNAPSBFTLSTTTASIE.
- When Clara jumps out the window screaming, "I can't go back to jail! I won't go back!", it is a reference to when she and Spanky went to jail in "Dirty Pranking No. 2."
- When Foxxy is on the phone with Jeff, a scoreboard can be seen containing the housemates' suicide prevention stats. It reads, "Foxxy- lost 0, saved 5. Clara- lost 0, saved 2. Spanky- lost 0, saved 1. Xandir- lost 0, saved 4. Toot- lost 0, saved 1." For Ling-Ling, it says, "kills," followed by a large number of score marks. Wooldoor and Hero apparently do not participate.
- This episode reveals that Captain Hero's first name is Leslie.
- All of the men visible in the background during Spanky's portion of the suicide hotline commercial appear to be midgets.
- The quick-speaking voice heard at the end of the suicide hotline commercial says, "Results may vary. There may not be much to live for. Toot is fat. Call now!"
- According to Executive Producer Bill Freiberger, the fact that Captain Hero's father didn't speak was "a satire of the fact that Matt Silverstein's father is cold and distant." 
- Batman and Robin make cameo appearances in this episode as part of a flashback sequence in which a drunken Captain Hero comically imitates the murder of Batman's parents at a party where Batman and Robin are present.
- Gonzo and Kermit the Frog make cameo appearances in this episodes in their Muppet Babies forms. When Foxxy mentions having found some pit bulls a home with the Muppet Babies, the scene cuts to Kermit and Gonzo being viciously ripped apart by said dogs. In the DVD version of the episode, a slightly longer version of the clip is shown which also features Fozzie Bear being attacked, and Scooter being anal-raped.
- The title of this episode comes from the comic strip Little Orphan Annie (which the musical Annie is based on).
- The montage of Captain Hero as an emotional wreck features a shot of him being unable to hug a woman because of some huge scissor-like gloves he is wearing. This is a parody of the movie Edward Scissorhands, in which Kim Boggs (Winona Ryder) asks Edward (Johnny Depp) to hug her, and he replies as Captain Hero does ("I can't!").
- Captain Hero's dressing like a woman and being gang raped on a pinball machine is a reference to the film The Accused and the rape of Cheryl Araujo.
- The aforementioned pinball machine is called "Pinball Wizah", a reference to the song "Pinball Wizard" from the rock opera Tommy.
- The Five for Fighting song that Captain Hero quotes throughout the episode is "Superman (It's Not Easy)". Even though everyone refers to Five for Fighting in the plural, it is in fact the stage name of only one man, John Ondrasik. Ondrasik appears as a guest star in the episode playing Hero's father.
- The question mark suit that Spanky Ham wears in the TV commercial is a reference to "Government Grant Guru" Matthew Lesko, who wears a similar suit to promote his books on late night television.
- Foxxy Love, Princess Clara, Spanky Ham and Ling Ling gather around the telephone, going "Yip yip yip yip yip...", with strange triangular mouths. This is a parody of a skit on Sesame Street featuring the Yip Yip Martians.
- The scene in which Captain Hero goes to contact Zebulon is a parody of several scenes from the movie E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial. The scene of Hero riding a bicycle while Wooldoor sits in the basket with a full moon in the background is taken directly from one of the film's most memorable images.
- Captain Hero's sex robot is built out of a Speak & Spell, a popular educational toy that uses a speech synthesizer to help children learn the alphabet.
- According to Spanky, stealing cable from Planet Zebulon enables the housemates to watch Everybody Loves Zorgleblek, a reference to Everybody Loves Raymond. He then adds, "Man, I hate that Patricia Heatongleb," a reference to Raymond actress Patricia Heaton, who called the network complaining about a Drawn Together billboard and had it taken down. This was also referenced in the movie .
- The cover of Hero Comics is drawn to resemble the famous cover of Action Comics #1, the comic that introduced Superman.
- The comic book which reveals the details of Captain Hero's mysterious birth cites a Supreme Court case called Roebot v. Wade, which is a reference to Roe v. Wade in 1973.
- Foxxy twirling around with a flash of light is a parody of the stock footage of Lynda Carter used in every episode of the 1970's Wonder Woman series when her character of Diana Prince turned into Wonder Woman.
- The scene in which Captain Hero argues with his mother as she rips his posters off the wall is a reference to Eddie Adams(Mark Wahlberg) arguing with his mother(Joanna Gleason) in Boogie Nights. One of the posters is that of Farrah Fawcett in her swimsuit; the same poster would be seen again in young Leslie's room in the episode "Nipple Ring-Ring Goes to Foster Care".
- Captain Hero tears off his costume and presumably rapes Xandir and his parents in order to erase their memories. This is a reference to Superman erasing Lois Lane's memories with a kiss in Superman II.
- The scene where Hero throws Zebulon into the sun is a parody of the scene in Superman IV where Superman hurls the world's nuclear weapons into the sun. The show would parody the exact same scene again in "N.R.A.y RAY".
- The limbless cops are called Art, Matt, and Bob. This is a reference to an old joke: "What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging from the wall? Art! What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs lying on the floor? Matt! What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the ocean? Bob!"
- Captain Hero destroys Zebulon just as Bizarro destroys Bizarro World in Alan Moore's Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow? (Superman #423, 1986).
It can be viewed at the official Drawn Together website here.