Giant Retard
Captain Retard
Drawn Together Character
Full Name Unknown
Gender Male
Race Zebulonian
Hair Brown
Age 1
Job Conditioning Repairman
Sexuality Unknown
Religion Unknown (possibly Jewish)
Voiced by James Arnold Taylor
The Giant Reatard is the mentally retarded son of Captain Hero and Captain She-Ro. He was the result of an accidental incest between the two of them.


The Giant Retard was first seen destroying the city in rage and Captain Hero set off to defeat him. When he found him, he fought with him a lot and eventually won, but just when he was about to kill him, he realized that his eyes look familiar. Just then, his T-Rex arms tore out, revealing that he is definitely his son. The Giant Retard escaped and he ran for him life and into the ocean. Captain Hero tracked down the mother of this retard which turned out to be his sister. Captain She-Ro couldn't get a man to marry her, and so she bought sperm from a sperm bank, which was her brother's. Captain She-Ro was keeping the retard chained up in a dungeon at her home which Captain Hero thought was abusive and so he stole her son and raised him as her own. Captain Hero had a lot of fun with him and eventually gave him the job of a conditioning repairman. One day, the retard went on another rampage through town and he hugged a giant nuclear bomb that was shaped like Winnie the Pooh and destroyed the entire town. Captain Hero and She-Ro were very disappointed with the outcome of their son and so they decided to try again and so they had sex, giving birth to another retard.


The Giant Retard is a giant sized person with a big, fat head. He has bowl-cut brown hair and small, misshapen eyes and crooked teeth. He wears nothing but blue suspenders. His feet are extremely tiny, especially for someone as huge as him and he also has two T-rex arms in the places of his nipples. His T-rex arms are the same as human arms, only with two fingers. He talks in a very loud, deep, and cracked voice.

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